"... I gave up my pride and
turned back."
It's been 5 weeks now and I am no less miserable. I find myself tossing left and right in the middle of the night searching for the little rascal. Sometimes I wake up to see myself hugging the blanket like how I used to hug him when we were sleeping. I even cried watching Youtube videos of people and their newly found furry loves. Ahh~ fuck! I think I should be given some leeway for profanity given the circumstances, don't I?
So miserable that in the midst of hyperventilating with all the claustrophobic Singaporean skyscrapers and the future uncertainties, I burst out my good ol' Nike Free Run 3.0 to Singapore's finest Chinese Garden to clear my fucking mind. They say "when in Rome Singapore, do as the Romans Singaporeans do" so I've decided to take the advice and followed some mid-century grey-haired men who seemed to know where they are running to only to find them running faster and longer than my quarter-century body can physically managed. Before I knew it, my guiding angels uncles were so far ahead at the end of the running track that I've decided to wing it and run on my own. After all how hard can it be to run around a recreational park? Pffbt... it's just a loop around the lake, it will be like running in circles, just keep going forward. How wrong! Lets just say after several loops in search of an exit, I gave up my pride and turned back.
What, you may ask, does a have-no-idea-what-she-wants unemployed person have in her mind? Every single thing about nothing.
- Job hunting business e.g. what position, which company, how do I break in, what sector, how much should the expected compensation be
- Oishii i.e. when will I ever see my furry love again
- MBA vs MSF e.g. which degree should I pursue, how can I finance my degree, what can the degree do for me, which school
- Starting up my own business e.g. how should I do this, wedding planning vs food industry, am I good enough to penetrate the market
- Mr. Right e.g. where is he
The list never ends... I, afterall, gave up my pride and turned back to the starting point, starting from scratch. If it was cooking, I would have loved this whole "starting from scratch" philosophy, kneading some scrumptious pasta from fine semolina flour but not this shit, this is real life problems. The endless possibilities from here are exhilarating but making me teeth-grindingly unsure of the direction I should take. Ahh, I should have wished for a damn life GPS for my birthday!
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