An OCD Blogger's Life Is Hard.

"it's not that I chose to be so

ANALytic..."

As much as I vowed to reincarnate this blog and have been consistently doing so at the back of my mind, writing countless post with my imagination, I've never have the courage to post those thoughts. Even as I typed the previous first sentence, I spent an unimaginable 30 minutes glaring, scowling every letter and punctuation as if a single misplaced comma is going to apocalytically affect me 30 years from now on. It's ridiculous! (Hah, I just caught myself rereading this paragraph and edit it for the umpteenth time.) Because of this, unfortunately, some of my wittiest magnum opus of my life never really left my brain until I forget about it the following second. Ugh! A blogger's life is hard especially for a forgetful perfectionist. (Oxymoron isn't it-how can you be a perfectionist when you forgot what you were trying to perfect a second ago?)

Yet, this analytical mindset of mine is how, my friends, I work for a living... or at least used to two months ago. :-( It's not that I chose to be so ANALytic, it's a skill I somewhat have and groomed over my now soon-to-be-quarter-century lifespan that I can't really shake off.

(So what was my point again for this post? Damn it, I'm losing it again!)

Yes, what I was trying to say is that I can't shake this temptation of mine to go over my posts and edit and reedit them to death. Somehow in the midst of the myriad editing, the core of each post was drown by my obsession for perfection until the question of "What was the point of this again?" slapped my face. And I, then, click that "Delete Post" button without any hesitation but a burst of frustration.

Of course, there are times when I reread my posts and my jaw seemed to find its way to the floor in disbelief of how emotional/geeky/unintelligent/ridiculous/incoherent/immature/over-philosophical I sound. And I, of course, click that "Delete Post" button again without any hesitation but this time with humiliation for my poor quality control.

And when I look at the meme/stick figure image I have at the beginning of this post, my belly vibrated with sad laughter because I would be that person to abuse all my brain juice just to decipher why my cup is so close to others.

So is this a cry of help of my OCDness? Hell no! I like the way I roll, I love the way my brain is wired because sometimes I make the simplest connection of things that people often times overlooked. Yes, it can be a overkill but the ultimate question is, am I a man or a muppet do I blog for me or for others? :-)